THE SECRET TO LASTING CHANGE: Why Going It Alone Isn't Actually Going It Strong

Molly Wichman, Personal Trainer in Lee's Summit shares health & fitness tips. Today is about The Secret to Lasting Change!

We live in a culture that glorifies the "self-made" success story. The lone wolf who pulls

themselves up by their bootstraps, conquers their demons, and emerges victorious through sheer willpower alone. It's a compelling narrative, but it's also largely a myth that keeps us stuck in cycles of starting and stopping, achieving and backsliding.

Let me share something I've learned through years of watching people transform their lives: Change isn't about motivation – it's about support and systems.

The Myth of Solo Success

Think about any significant goal you've achieved in life. Did you really do it completely alone? When you dig deeper, you'll probably find a network of support that made your success possible:

Learning to drive - You had an instructor, a patient family member, or a friend who taught you the rules of the road, corrected your mistakes, and gave you confidence behind the wheel.

Advancing in your career - Mentors guided your decisions, colleagues shared their expertise, and managers provided feedback that helped you grow.

Raising children - Whether it was your parents, friends, books, or online communities, you leaned on the wisdom and experience of others to navigate the challenges.

Learning a new skill - Teachers, YouTube tutorials, practice partners, or online courses provided the structure and knowledge you needed to progress.

The pattern is clear: behind every success story is a support system, even if we don't always recognize it at the time.

Why We Resist Getting Help

Despite the evidence that support accelerates success, many of us still try to go it alone, especially when it comes to health and fitness goals. Why? Several psychological barriers keep us isolated:

Pride and Independence - We've been conditioned to believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness or failure. In reality, it's a sign of wisdom and self-awareness.

Fear of Judgment - We worry that others will see our struggles and judge us for not having it all figured out. The truth is, everyone struggles, and most people respect those who are honest about their challenges.

Past Disappointments - Maybe you've worked with a trainer who didn't understand your needs, or joined a program that didn't deliver results. One bad experience doesn't mean all support is ineffective.

Financial Concerns - Quality support often comes with a cost, and it's easy to talk ourselves out of investing in ourselves. But consider the cost of NOT getting help: years of spinning your wheels, potential health issues, and the emotional toll of repeated failures.

THE SCIENCE BEHIND ACCOUNTABILITY

Research consistently shows that accountability dramatically increases success rates. A study by the American Society of Training and Development found that people are:

• 10% more likely to achieve a goal when they have an idea or goal

• 25% more likely when they consciously decide they will do something about their goal

• 40% more likely when they decide when they will do it

• 50% more likely when they plan how they will do it

• 65% more likely when they commit to someone else that they will do it

• 95% more likely when they have specific accountability appointments with someone they've committed to

That's nearly a 10x increase in success rates just by adding structured accountability to your efforts.

WHY ACCOUNTABILITY WORKS AT A DEEPER LEVEL

Creates built-in motivation on tough days - When you know someone is expecting you to

show up, you're more likely to push through resistance. External accountability becomes internal motivation over time.

Helps identify blind spots in your routine - We all have patterns and habits we can't see clearly. An outside perspective can spot inefficiencies, missed opportunities, or self-sabotaging behaviors that we're too close to recognize.

Provides expert eyes on your form and progress - Whether it's your workout technique, meal planning strategies, or stress management approaches, having someone with experience observe and guide you prevents costly mistakes and accelerates learning.

Offers solutions before obstacles become roadblocks - Experienced coaches and mentors have seen your challenges before. They can provide solutions and workarounds that would take you months or years to figure out on your own.

Celebrates small wins you might miss - We're often our own harshest critics, focusing on what we haven't accomplished rather than acknowledging progress. Support systems help you recognize and celebrate incremental victories that build momentum.

Adjusts plans when life gets challenging - Life rarely goes according to plan. When you're navigating changes alone, it's easy to abandon your goals entirely. Support systems help you adapt and modify your approach rather than quit.

DIFFERENT TYPES OF SUPPORT FOR DIFFERENT NEEDS

Support doesn't look the same for everyone. Consider these different approaches:

Professional Coaching - Personal trainers, nutritionists, life coaches, and therapists provide expert guidance tailored to your specific situation and goals.

Peer Support Groups - Whether online or in-person, connecting with others who share similar challenges creates community and shared accountability.

Workout Partners - Having someone to exercise with makes workouts more enjoyable and creates natural accountability.

Family and Friends - Don't underestimate the power of sharing your goals with loved ones who can offer encouragement and gentle accountability.

Technology and Apps - While not human, apps and devices can provide structure, tracking, and reminders that support your efforts.

Hybrid Approaches - Many people benefit from combining different types of support, such as working with a coach while also participating in online communities.

SIGNS YOU'RE READY FOR SUPPORT

You know what to do but struggle to stay consistent - Knowledge isn't the problem; implementation is. This is where accountability shines brightest.

You're tired of starting over every few months - If you find yourself in cycles of motivation and burnout, it's time to try a different approach that focuses on sustainable systems rather than temporary bursts of willpower.

You're looking for sustainable, long-term change - Quick fixes and extreme measures rarely last. If you're ready to build lasting habits, support systems provide the structure and guidance needed for long-term success.

You're ready to invest in your wellbeing - This isn't just about money (though quality support often requires investment). It's about prioritizing your health and recognizing that getting help is an investment in your future self.

You feel overwhelmed by conflicting information - With so much health and fitness advice available, it's easy to get paralyzed by options. Support helps you cut through the noise and focus on what actually works for your situation.

You've achieved success in other areas with help - If you've benefited from coaches, mentors, or support systems in your career, relationships, or other pursuits, why wouldn't the same principle apply to your health goals?

REAL TALK: REFRAMING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH SUPPORT

Having support doesn't mean you're not capable. It means you're smart enough to know that guidance can fast-track your success and make the journey more enjoyable.

Consider this: elite athletes have coaches, successful business leaders have mentors, and even therapists have their own therapists. The most successful people in any field understand that growth happens faster and more sustainably when you have the right support system.

The goal isn't to become dependent on others but to learn from their expertise and experience so you can eventually internalize the skills and mindset needed for long-term success. Good support systems don't create dependence; they create independence through guided learning and practice.

OVERCOMING COMMON OBSTACLES TO SEEKING SUPPORT

"I should be able to do this myself" - Says who? This belief is often rooted in shame or unrealistic expectations. The most successful people in any field have teams of supporters.

"I don't have the money" - Support comes in many forms, and some are free or low-cost. Start with what you can afford, whether that's a workout buddy, online community, or library books. As you see results, you can invest more.

"I don't have time" - You're already spending time on your health goals (or thinking about them). Support doesn't necessarily add time; it makes your existing time more effective.

"I'm not ready yet" - There's no perfect time to start. In fact, support can help you become ready by providing the structure and guidance needed to begin.

"I've tried before and it didn't work" - Not all support is created equal. Learning from past experiences can help you choose better support systems in the future.

YOUR NEXT STEPS: CREATING YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM

Write down your health goals - Be specific about what you want to achieve and by when. Vague goals get vague results.

List what's worked/hasn't worked before - Understanding your patterns helps you choose support that addresses your specific challenges and builds on your strengths.

Identify your biggest obstacles - What typically derails your efforts? Time constraints, knowledge gaps, motivation issues, or something else? Your support system should address these specific challenges.

Consider what support you need - Based on your goals and obstacles, what kind of help would be most valuable? Expert guidance, accountability, community, or a combination?

Research your options - Look into different types of support available in your area or online. Read reviews, ask for recommendations, and don't be afraid to shop around.

Start small but start now - You don't need to invest in the most expensive option right away. Begin with something manageable and build from there.

Set expectations and boundaries - Be clear about what you need from your support system and what you're willing to commit to in return.

Evaluate and adjust - After a few weeks or months, assess what's working and what isn't. Good support systems should evolve with your progress.

THE RIPPLE EFFECT OF SUPPORTED CHANGE

When you successfully make lasting changes with support, the benefits extend far beyond your original goals. You develop confidence in your ability to tackle challenges, you model healthy behavior for those around you, and you often become a source of support for others beginning their own journeys.

The skills you learn through supported change – consistency, self-awareness, resilience, and the wisdom to seek help when needed – become tools you can apply to any area of your life.

CONCLUSION: CHANGING THE NARRATIVE

It's time to change the narrative around self-improvement. The strongest, most capable people aren't those who do everything alone – they're those who build the right support systems to amplify their efforts and accelerate their progress.

Your goals are important enough to deserve the best possible chance of success. Whether that means hiring a coach, joining a community, or simply asking a friend to check in on your progress, taking that first step toward support is taking a step toward the lasting change you deserve.

Remember: asking for help isn't giving up on yourself – it's investing in yourself. And that investment will pay dividends not just in achieving your immediate goals, but in building the skills and mindset needed for a lifetime of growth and success.

The question isn't whether you need support (we all do), but what kind of support will best serve your goals and your journey. The answer to that question is the key to unlocking the lasting change you've been seeking.

IF you are on board for long term change, weight loss and improved health, my Online Coaching Program or personal training is a perfect fit!

The key to a healthy life is having a healthy mind, active body, and overall health and happiness!

In Good Health,

Molly Wichman